My grief fills rooms. It takes up space and it sucks out the air.
It leaves no room for anyone else. Grief is possessive.
It doesn’t let me go anywhere without it.
Grief is a force and I am swept up in it.
I have to be very strong. I have to keep it together.
The other side of my grief is this little girl who lost her mother,
I could just fall apart if I touch that pain.
~ Motherless Daughters by Hope Edelman
So my grandmother Lizzie Lou ran away to Memphis. Once she had physically separated from her family, and achieved the psychological and emotional stability she needed to mourn without fear of abandonment or collapse, she could face her grief head-on.
But who does she attract romantically ? A man consumed with grief over the loss of his wife, heavy with child in her womb, and then his teenage son. It is no wonder, he felt a deja vu when Lizzie Lou got pregnant and was due to deliver the same month his deceased wife had been due to deliver.
No wonder he freaked out and wanted her to remain safely with her father . . .
At least this is how I’ve tried to make sense of what happened between my mother’s parents.