A Thread of Connection

The author at age 3

I believe there exists an unconscious connection between an adoptee and his or her biological family.

There are two adoptees who are also my parents.  It is interesting to see how the naming of the children of those two in my family turns out to be the same as a name chosen by ancestors for another person in our genetic lineage.

I was named Deborah.  I was told it was because my paternal adoptive grandparents were worried about my soul when I was conceived out of wedlock.  Now that I have learned about my original ancestors, I know that my own father’s genetic great-aunt, who died at age 3 when she was run over by a car, was also named Deborah.

When my own daughter was very young, a woman I worked with lost her young son the same way. I put the fear into my daughter to protect her until she was old enough not to need such a protection, even though at the time I did not know this story of my own ancestral Deborah.

My parents named my sister, born 13 months after me, “Lou” Anne.  Now that I have learned about my original ancestors, I know that my mom’s natural mother’s name was Elizabeth “Lizzie” Lou.  When I tracked down one of her nephews, he referred to her Aunt Lou.  Our youngest sibling always calls my sister “Lou”.

In the adoption file I received from the state of Tennessee were 4 black and white negatives.  One turned out to be my mom’s original mother holding her.  The first time I saw it, I thought of my sister and feel she bears a strong resemblance to the woman.

I’m a believer that these threads of connection remained even though the ties back to our ancestors had been severed by adoption practices that took from us this knowledge until less than 2 years ago.