Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day 2010

Ever since my oldest son was born, we go out every year to take photos among the Wild Azaleas we are fortunate to have an abundance of here on our Missouri farm.  Only in one year, were there no flowers and we had to settle for a waterfall backdrop.  This year, I can no longer endure a long hike due to knee issues and so my husband has suggested I drive our John Deere tractor while he and the boys walk alongside to area where he knows there are a lot of blossoms.  He also wants to collect a couple of large rocks in the bucket that are on his mind while we are there.  The last time I drove the tractor I got it stuck in a wetland.  He reassures me that will be impossible in the area he has in mind.

Mothers are very much on my mind at this time.  No surprise.  Yesterday, I struggled with a lot of sadness about my maternal grandmother.  I have this awful paradox.  I was never able to know my original grandparents because both of my parents were given up for adoption.  Yet, if that had not happened, I would not exist at all.  Therefore, it wasn’t ever possible to have both – a relationship with them and life itself.  Of course, if it weren’t for the disconnect adoption causes, maybe my parents could have enjoyed reunions with their original parents in adulthood and maybe I could have known these people.  But it was not to be.

I also miss my mom a lot at Mother’s Day.  I would have had a wonderful long conversation with her had she been alive.  She died two months before I expected to see her again (we were separated by 1,200 miles).  Her death changed my life.  Discovering my original grandparents did as well.

Happy Mother’s Day !!

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