Regarding adoption, as one dives deeply into the practice, it is difficult not to come to the conclusion that either you are OK taking someone else’s child – regardless of the pain it causes them – or you’re not OK with that.
At some level, it really is that simple. Some people can do that and function and some can’t fathom the thought.
Many adoptive parents make excuses. What if this ? Or what if that ? Or I did this ? Or I did that ?
Or even more honest and direct, if not me, what would happen to that child otherwise ?
But there are some adoptive parents who recognize and own their personal motives – I wanted kids and couldn’t have my own. It was about my need to experience motherhood.
It doesn’t make it a positive thing for the original mother or the adoptee but owning it is something. Many adoptive parents can’t bring themselves to accept that truth.
In case you misunderstand this – no one, absolutely no one, is advocating that children should ever remain in truly abusive situations. No one!