The Fallacy of Temporary Care

My maternal grandmother and I both share a sad fact – we sought temporary care for our daughter – only to see that need for financial support and an inability to provide adequately for the basic needs of our child turn into a permanent situation.

My grandmother walked into a trap when in total desperation she took my mom to Porter Leath Orphanage for temporary care.  That is a staff member of the orphanage holding my mom in the photo above.  Georgia Tann got her hooks into my mom and was never going to let her go until she was placed with a repeat, paying customer.

In my case, I took my daughter to her paternal grandmother for temporary care while I tried to boost my financial foundation.  However, her dad remarried a woman with a child and then they had another child together.  I was not inclined to interrupt a situation that I could not better in my own circumstances.

Do I regret leaving her ?  Absolutely.  I knew nothing about the trauma separating a child from their natural mother causes.  My parents were both adoptees – that meant they had been separated from their own mothers.  I simply lacked the knowledge or understanding to know that I might be causing any kind of harm to the child I loved more than anyone else in the world.

The reality is – for both my maternal grandmother and for my own self – we lost physical (in my grandmother’s case – legal) custody of our children.  Nothing changes reality but I can and do share what I have learned about the implications.

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