The Sad Stories Just Keep Coming

A mother writes –

I am the mother of 2 daughters. My rights were terminated and my children have been adopted by their step mother. I lost on a technicality. Originally, I had a shared custody with my ex. He took off and I couldn’t find my kids.  I couldn’t seem to find the right help or didn’t have the $ or connections. Finally, I found them [many many years later] and went to court. 

The judge literally said “I believe you but I have to rule on the law and you didn’t provide support for the last four months.” [How could I ?,  since they were on the run].

I found out that the girls father and step mother were divorcing.  Something told me I should try again.  So, I called him. He said he would ask my girls if they wanted to see me. He held true and my oldest daughter said “no” but my youngest said “yes”.

He made me agree that I would not tell them what really happened. My children have been completely brainwashed.  I am not allowed to defend myself [not that I want to bash anyone – that isn’t healthy either] but I am trying to build a relationship.  My daughter just doesn’t trust me at all. And she is very back and forth.  I don’t want to push her and I want be there for her.

I have also found out that my children suffered a lot of abuse from both step mom and dad [dad was abusive with me as well when we were married]. I’m trying my best to prove myself without over stepping their father’s rule.  I fear he would just yank her back from me again.  He doesn’t want to be the bad guy.

I’m just trying to figure out how to handle this appropriately. It’s a hard line to walk but I’m willing to.  My younger daughter is almost 15.  I have completely respected the older daughter not wanting anything to do with me.  I just pray maybe one day she will change her mind [she is almost 18].

Sadly, I don’t believe this is a unique story.  Just one of a multitude about how children become separated from their mothers.

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