Whether you sought out adoption or it dropped in your lap, you STILL adopted and that makes you complicit in separating a family.
Stop using phrases like:
- We didn’t know better
- We didn’t buy a baby, the baby was offered to us
- The birthmother decided, not us
After your initial involvement, if your first thought everyday when you woke up or every night when you went to sleep or every moment in between, was that a mother was separated from her child or vice versa, and that it was a heart wrenching thing that should never happen – guess what, you are still complicit. It does not matter what the natural mother said to you or her family or anyone else involved said that caused it to happen. The simple FACT is that anyone separating these 2 people, that only knew each other throughout the pregnancy, is NOT NORMAL. You honestly should have known that instinctively. If you didn’t, that is on you for not looking deeper before doing it. And if you did research it but pushed it down, you are selfish.
An adoptee writes – Know what my adoptive mom always said to me ? “I had 3 boys and I wanted a girl.” She makes no apologies. It’s selfish AF and she knows it. She fully admits how selfish she was. Times were different then. People truly did not know about adoption trauma. It matters not to her though. She knows she should have known – because logically, it makes perfect sense that a mother and child should not be separated. She fully admits she was thinking only of herself and not of my natural mom. At the very least, as selfish as that is, at least she owns it all without BS excuses.
Missing Mom 