We Were Once A Family

You probably remember the horrific story – In March of 2018, an SUV carrying two adults and six children drove off a cliff along Pacific Coast Highway. It was deemed a murder-suicide at the hands of Jennifer and Sarah Hart, a white lesbian couple who adopted the Black children from two families in Texas children on board.

The above and what follows are thanks to a story online by LINK>WBUR about Roxanna Asgarian, author of the book who’s cover is above. When the Houston reporter sought out the birth families of those children, she discovered a flawed and over-burdened child welfare system that routinely mistreats Black families. What started as a newspaper assignment turned into Asgarian’s new book.

The birth mother of three of the six children was battling drug addiction. Her children were cared for by their aunt and a father figure, who was not related to them. They were removed by Child Protective Services when the aunt asked their birth mother to babysit one day because she could not find any other childcare. The other three were removed from their birth family for reasons of supposed medical neglect. Actually, one of the children was bitten by ants at a birthday party. Their birth mother had not been able to find a ride for them to the hospital.

The adoptive mothers, the Harts, had been investigated multiple times for abuse and mistreatment. Even so, the children were never removed from their care, even when they displayed bruises and malnourishment. Asgarian says, “I knew immediately when I was let into the homes of the birth family of three of the kids that this was a child welfare story. It seemed increasingly clear as time went on that the systemic part of the story was being totally overlooked.”

You can read an excerpt of her book at the link above.

They Just Won’t Stop

Today’s story describes what some expectant mothers go through after they decide to keep and parent their baby –

What can I do to make the guilt of keeping my baby go away? I’m not in a position to keep her really but I am going to anyways. The hopeful adoptive parents have called me selfish, and have made it clear they’ll do whatever they have to do to get my baby away from me.

I’ve already dealt with a wellness check as well as Div of Children and Families/Child Protective Services/Dept of Social Services workers coming to my home after a call to them from the hopeful adoptive parents. In the report, they said they’re worried about my unborn baby’s well being and that they know she isn’t safe with me.

I’ve sent letters formally withdrawing all consent for medical releases and stating I’m choosing to parent.

But they wont stop. They have gotten me so low, I feel like I’m ruining my baby’s life. I’m close to just saying “fine, take her”, only to make them stop. It’s overwhelming. They never stop, it’s emails, calls, voicemails, texts – all stating that I need to rethink what I’m doing.

They said they’re willing to do an open adoption, but I know they’re only saying what I want to hear. blogger’s note – the reality is that most “open adoptions” eventually fail to honor the agreements that adoptive parents will make simply to coerce the mother to let them have her baby.

This is too much.

A Missouri Crisis

The Missouri Independent declares it LINK>Truly A Crisis dated June 20 2023. No idea how many other states have similar issues.

Of the 13,183 foster children in the custody of the Missouri Children’s Division at the end of April, 52 were housed in medical facilities and 258 were housed in mental health facilities. At the end of April 2022, there were 72 foster children in medical facilities and 92 in mental health facilities.

The Department of Mental Health also has difficulty finding residential support providers. It has 704 clients who are developmentally disabled waiting for a residential placement, with the more than three dozen housed in hospitals considered among the most critical for placement.

“Unfortunately, right now, hospitals are a place where both residential facilities and in some cases, therapeutic foster families — or you know, or families in general — will bring their children because they don’t feel adept at caring for the child,” said Michelle Schafer, regional vice president for behavioral health at SSM. “There are usually significant behavioral components to the situation.”

All of Missouri’s hospital systems have served this function at one point or another in the last year, and the number of children in limbo has been growing. Foster children living in hospitals or other temporary locations for long periods isn’t just a Missouri problem. Many states are finding it difficult to recruit foster parents, especially in rural areas, KFF Health News reported this week.

For the Department of Mental Health, one of the biggest issues is community providers are struggling with staffing issues. “We lost about 50% of our residential beds, because we had a workforce shortage, which then sort of turned this cycle into a situation where we had a lot of kids, and we had no place for them to go,” Schafer said.

Senator Elaine Gannon sponsored legislation that passed which directs the Mental Health and Social Services departments to study and report on the impact of hospitalizing foster children and Department of Mental Health clients “without medical justification because appropriate post discharge placement options are unavailable,” and how to end it. “This doesn’t happen,” Gannon recalled thinking. “They don’t leave somebody in a hospital for six months, a year or even a month because they don’t have anywhere to send them. I can’t really believe that. Well, let me tell you, it’s the truth, and it is happening, and it’s happening everywhere.”

“That’s not a good setting either for the child or the young adult who’s in that situation. They need social supports, they need connections to communities, that a hospital just can’t provide.” said Brian Kinkade, vice president of children’s health and Medicaid advocacy at the Missouri Hospital Association. “Hospitals are not designed or staffed to provide housing for foster children and adults with developmental disabilities or behavior issues that do not need treatment for acute conditions,” Kinkade said.

“What we’ve decided to do instead is come together in what is truly a crisis and say, ‘You know, we’re all going to recognize that it is a failed system, that deinstitutionalization is failing right now. And we’re all going to lean in and be committed to doing our part to make it better,’” Schafer said.

Missouri puts children into foster care at nearly twice the national average rate, according to the LINK>National Coalition for Child Protection Reform. And part of the process of rebuilding the division is focusing on preventing removal in the first place. “If you put services on the front end to prevent those things from getting to a place where a child had to be removed, that’s a much better expenditure of money,” Children’s Division Director Darryl Missey said during a January budget hearing. Each child in foster care costs the state around $25,000 per year. Traditional foster families receive a maintenance stipend of $450 to $630 a month.

The point, Mary Chant, chief executive of Missouri Coalition for Children said, is to break down jurisdictional barriers where people disclaim authority, leaving people in limbo. “Those things may be true, but none of those things help us figure anything out,” Chant said. “Our first question has to be: What is it that the child’s family needs? And what do we need to do to get them that?”

With everyone at the table agreeing Missouri’s systems are in crisis, the first step was to get past blame, Schafer said. “Blame has no place in this,” she said. “It is literally all collaboration and partnership as we are committed to do this work, and up to it including having legislative support.”

Thanks to Terry West over at LINK>Indivisible Rural Progressives of the Eighth District and LINK>Jess Piper on TikTok for awareness.

A Sad Reality

Though the date has past, it is still worth making a point about this because with inexpensive DNA testing and matching, it is happening more often now. An NPE, not parent expected, also sometimes MPE, misattributed parental experience, are terms applied to people who have learned that they are adopted after entering adulthood. It can also apply to people who learned that they are the product of donor conception, affairs, and/or rape.

One woman notes – Found my biological family. Unwanted by all…. I’m a product of date rape. The dirty secret…

From that comment, I learned today about LINK>RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) a national nonprofit support organization that can give people with these kinds of experience the resources they might need as a child conceived as a result of sexual assault. RAINN also carries out programs to prevent sexual violence, help survivors, and ensure that perpetrators are brought to justice.

Keeping Them Together

My husband heard this story on NPR and knowing it would be of interest to me, told me about it. I grew up in a different kind of Texas than we usually think about the state in these modern times. I am grateful to have something good to say exists in that state today.

LINK>Casa Mia is a refuge for mothers with opioid use disorders and their infants in San Antonio Texas. Through a partnership between the School of Nursing at the University of Texas and Crosspoint Inc (a local nonprofit organization), mothers and their young children are offered housing while the mothers are enrolled in a recovery program and receive support services.

Casa Mia is located on a quiet street in a predominantly historic neighborhood near downtown San Antonio. It is a two-story house filled with laughter, baby bottles, diapers and toys. It includes a garden in the back. Gardening is proven to be therapeutic and helps with recovery, and nutrition is important to recovery as well. “A lot of our ladies have grown up with food insecurity,” says Dr. Cleveland. “People who are in recovery from a substance use disorder often have cravings, and it is important to discuss nutrition for mom and for baby.” There are clean beds for the women to sleep on at night. It is a far cry from the streets where these women formerly resided. Back in 2019, they were able to help 32 women and 26 children.

Dr Lisa Cleveland co-founded Casa Mia after witnessing the traumatic separations of mothers, who were diagnosed with opioid disorders, and their newborns shortly after birth. She partnered with Crosspoint Inc who had previously used the building as a women’s recovery support home. Crosspoint is a local nonprofit organization that provides transitional and behavioral health services to San Antonio’s most marginalized and vulnerable citizens.

“Casa Mia follows a social recovery-housing model. The focus is on teaching moms to live their lives without substances. We show them that they can have a great life without them,” Dr. Cleveland says. They provide a comprehensive wellness program for the mothers and also teach them life skills, while offering them a safe place to live with their children, while they recover.

While nationally there are numerous transitional or recovery homes for women, only 3 percent of that housing offers beds for their young children. As a neonatal nurse for 28 years and a mother, Dr Cleveland understands the mental and physical need for a child and mother to be together from birth. The maternal bond is important for each of them. “We need to help women become moms in a supportive environment before we put them out into the world,” she says.

Local and county statistics further solidified her resolve to take action. One-third of all Texas infants diagnosed with opioid withdrawal are born in Bexar County, the highest rate in the state. This equates to 300 to 400 babies each year; more than Dallas-Fort Worth and Houston combined. Casa Mia is a one-of-a-kind program designed to turn the tide.

“The statistics just really floored me,” says Dr Cleveland, “and I thought why is no one talking about this, especially since it has a really large impact on our community. With those numbers, it stands to reason that Bexar County really needs to set the standard for the state, and we are now. Bexar County truly is the leader in best practices and best care for these families.”

Traditionally, pregnant mothers who are diagnosed with substance use disorder have only two options after they give birth: either have a family member take care of their infant while they go to a treatment center or Child Protective Services places the infant in foster care. “Even if the infant is placed with a family member, the mother and baby are still separated. This separation is very traumatic for the mother and very traumatic for the baby. It is traumatic for the staff at the hospital as well. It just doesn’t make sense to me,” Dr Cleveland says. “Why are we taking these babies away from mothers who need help? Why are we not helping the mothers instead?”

Funded by the Texas Department of State Health Services, the Baptist Health Foundation and the Sisters of the Holy Spirit, Casa Mia is staffed 24 hours a day and can house up to 20 mothers and their young children at a time. Each woman must continue her recovery or treatment plan and follow the rules of the house. The first phase is fairly restrictive. Residents are not allowed to stay overnight elsewhere and must be in the house by a set curfew. They must let the staff know where they are going when they leave, even for treatment; they have to call when they get where they are going from the landline phone at their location, not a cell phone; and they have to call when they are on their way back to the house. As they progress through their recovery, the restrictions are relaxed until they eventually get ready to exit the program. There is no set timeframe for a resident to stay or exit the program.

“I think recovery is very individual,” Dr Cleveland says. “One of the things that makes our program unique is that if someone relapses, they do not get thrown out of the house. We know that recovery is a process and sometimes people relapse and that is part of the learning process. I have heard of women who have relapsed after leaving the program and then get right back on track. To me, that is a huge success.”

At Casa Mia, women may arrive expecting a child, having just given birth, or hoping to be reunited with their child. One case study is Becky who arrived at Casa Mia one January, six-months pregnant with her seventh child. After using drugs for six years, now at the age of 33, is thankful the judge sent her to Casa Mia. As a result of her drug use, she had lost custody of three of her children to their father and has joint custody of three others with a different father. She has been in recovery for more than a year and is finally excited about her future. While living at Casa Mia, Becky continues her recovery program, works a steady job (which she has had for almost two years) and takes classes to complete her GED. She plans to become a real estate agent.

“Now that my baby is born, I haven’t left her side, not even once. I am very happy because I think the Lord gave me another chance. He showed me these young women and how they take care of their children and that planted seeds in my head. Now that I have my little girl, he has given me another chance to be a mom again, and I’m very thankful for that.” She adds, “I love the staff at Casa Mia. They want what’s best for us, and they really try to help you. Having your children with you is the best thing, and I just see how everything works together.”

Crosspoint brings its expertise in recovery housing and support, the School of Nursing provides its expertise in women and children’s health as well as nutrition and childhood development. Classes for the mothers range from child nutrition and parenting to yoga and infant care.

Why Is It Different Here ?

How come infant adoption doesn’t exist in countries with social safety nets??

Because women don’t willingly give up babies without coercion and desperate circumstances.

The point above is that many countries outside the US have less than 200 adoptions annually…some only a handful. WHY?

Because they don’t allow it to be a multi billion dollar industry
It is NOT privatized
It is illegal to adopt on your own – no internet/friend matches
They have a social support system to help families stay together.

Some additional comments –

The social nets in the US need serious overhaul. I work in a hospital and some of the situations I’ve seen people in are heartbreaking, infuriating, sickening. It makes sense that countries with ACTUAL support see fewer broken families all around.

It was sad to see this one – I wish it was like this everywhere. I’m from Ukraine and it’s a sh*tshow – lots of kids abandoned, horrific dysfunction, zero support. It’s terrible.

Safety nets include but are not limited to: proper science based sex ed, access to birth control of the patients choice, access to medical care, plus abortion accessibility. Access to housing and therapy. I have found a lot of people assume support is $$$ and while that is true to a degree, it is not the whole picture. Building community is the best thing we can do. To which someone else noted – but realistically money solves a ton of issues.

From an adoptee – Safety nets and social resources are so important. It is deeply disturbing that we pay so much lip service to “children are our greatest resource” and pretending that we are all about “family values,” but when push comes to shove, it’s really about greed and selfishness. We need to elect politicians who are more interested in people than money and power.

A transracial adoptee notes – I hate it when they try to make it seem like there are soooo many abandoned babies. Even if there is an expectant mom who wants to give birth (which how many pregnant people are truly willing to give birth, especially in a country with a high mortality rate, to just relinquish the baby) but does not want to parent (as in they have the ability/support/the means to parent but truly do not want to & wouldn’t/couldn’t abort), then what about the father? And if he really absolutely does not want to parent, do they really not have a single family member or honestly even close family friend who would take in the baby? Like the leap to having absolute strangers adopt the baby is just too much for me honestly. I frankly find it a bit hard to believe that there are so many situations where there are 2 capable expectant parents who simply don’t want parent and for not a single family member be capable/willing to take care of the child.

Another explains – it’s the private adoption industry taking the foster care statistic of approximately 100,000 post-Termination of Parental Rights youth in this country, and just conveniently not mentioning that almost none of them are babies or toddlers. And then, if challenged, they will say ‘but this prevents them from ending up in foster care, aging out without a family,’ although I imagine that would not be relevant to the majority of parents who relinquish privately.

Which brought this recognition – I’ve actually found it incredibly bizarre how some very educated and intelligent people in my life, people who understand systems of oppression in regards to other demographics, a) don’t seem to get that no one gets pregnant to happily turn around and relinquish and b) refuse to understand that different age groups in the foster care system likely have different needs and require different approaches.

And this story from an expectant mother – I’m 42, expecting my 4th. My 1st, I was a single mother when her father left when she was 15 months old. I was a single mother for 10 years when I met my husband. But I thrived. I had a career, bought my own house, could afford a comfortable life. When I married, we had 2 boys over 8 years of marriage. My husband comes from a long line of mental illnesses, which he inherited. Both our boys are special needs, ASD among others. I’m in the middle of a long divorce as my husband is dragging it out and controlling it all as long as he can. I’m now a single mother for a second time. Eventually started casually seeing someone and got pregnant the second time we were together. He immediately jumped ship and was adamant he doesn’t want anything to do with it. Doesn’t want to be on the birth certificate. Nothing. This pregnancy will make me a single mother for essentially a 3rd time, at the age of 43. I am over being a single mother. I don’t want to do this for 40 years straight. I am older. I have no family that would take a baby. I had zero interest in abortion, I live in a state where it’s still legal, but that’s not something I agree with and I couldn’t live with myself. So, yes, I’m the mom that would carry to term just so I wasn’t killing the baby. I also couldn’t live with the what if’s with adoption. So I’m simply left with parenting. Do I want to? No. It’s simply the only option that doesn’t leave me with what ifs for the rest of my life. I fit everything you said is a far stretch. Father does not want, I would not abort, I have already been a single mother most of my entire adult life, so I know I CAN do it, but I don’t want to anymore. I’ve lived that phase of my life. I’m currently reliving that phase of my life with 2 challenging kiddos. And now, my awful luck has me starting all over again a 3rd time. And being in this position, I’ve come to realize there are lots of older women in my position for different reasons. Thought they went through menopause, Birth Control failed, whatever. Married, divorced, there are lots of us. So many people think this is a “young mom” issue, but there is an older crowd no one considers because we aren’t the norm.

Another agreed – the majority from the statistics I’ve seen who are getting abortions are married or divorced older women. I don’t see many choosing adoption at that age.

And a perspective from the United Kingdom – The UK has plenty of adoption, largely because our social services and safety net are so full of holes, struggling families don’t get help and their kids get taken away. What we don’t have is abandoned babies or people voluntarily giving up their infants. Because we have free, readily available abortion for people who really don’t want a kid, free healthcare (even if the government is currently running the service into the ground) and enough of a basic safety net (however fraying) that is usually sufficient that people who choose to give birth don’t feel they have to then give away their children due to poverty. I have a mountain of criticism for the ways our society is failing families, and letting them fall apart, but I still look at the United States in horror at how much worse it is.

The Life You Never Lived

Though not an adoptee myself, but as the child of two adoptees who never knew anything about their biological, genetic families, this applies to me as well. Even with my genetic relatives that I have met or gotten to know virtually, there are still those family lives I’ve never been a part of. There is no making up or compensating for that. There is only going forward from here.

And even though, I do know who my genetic relatives are now, I’ve banged my head against the sealed adoption records issue both in Virginia (where my mom was born) and California (where my dad was born). So even lacking both of those, thanks to inexpensive DNA testing and matching companies and then some fortuitous connections from there, I know as much as I can ever hope to now.

Googling on the life you never lived, I found this – Our Ghost Lives: Why We Obsess Over Lives We Could Have Lived at LINK>unpublishedzine.com. Even before I read this, I think – this could apply to many forks in our life’s path. What might it have been if we had done this or that. So, really lives we could have lived can apply to many people, not just adoptees. It’s only that adoptees have good reason to wonder “what might my life have been like if I had remained with my first parents?” All of the “what ifs…” that we daydream about. Woulda, shoulda, couldas are never reality. There is only what we have lived.

Excerpts from the linked article – Ghost lives earn their namesake because they haunt, they linger, and are the phantoms of what could have been. Wishing for our ghost lives to be a reality is common when our current lives are hard. Ghost lives should never detract from our regular lives because it becomes unhealthy.

Instead evaluate the choices you have made and how they have brought you happiness. This is a lot like what I heard the Rev Michael Bernard Beckwith suggest in his Sunday message at Agape – Do a testimonial trek through your awareness. Notice all of the places in your life where your own might and power did not get you out of trouble. Your back was against the wall. Through some kind of grace or expanded awareness, everything turned out okay. Curate the feeling of that grace or miracle.

It is a trust that goes beyond your personality construct, your human skills, beyond what you think you can do. You walk with a radical trust in life Itself by looking back over your life and seeing all of the places where you did not make something happen but something dawned upon your awareness, something pulled you to another level of experience – let that become a baseline of confidence and trust. You have confidence in yourself and you walk with that dynamic. Life has a tendency to support its continuance.

Back to the article – choosing real life over what could have been radiates a lot more positive energy, mindfulness, and an ability to be in the present. Being in the moment requires conscious effort. Appreciating the choices that we did make, shows us the good that is there, that we may sometimes fail to see. Be grateful that this big, messy, joyous real life isn’t a ghost life (which can only ever be an illusion) but your true lived experience.

Yet Another One

Chanel with her maternal grandmother, Aana Arlene

On the heels of the recent Supreme Court ruling upholding the ICWA, comes awareness of yet another case. In this one, the white foster parents refuse to honor the Alaska indigenous roots of this child, Chanel.

Chanel’s biological mother, Kristen Ballot-Huntington, was murdered by her mother’s partner and the girl’s father, Eric Rustad. LINK>Sentencing Details.

In social media posts, her foster father refers to her as “little Native baby” and even Mowgli, after the Jungle Book character raised by wolves. Such remarks perpetuate harmful stereotypes and demonstrate a profound lack of understanding and respect, attitudes that put Chanel’s entire identity as a Native child at risk of erasure. She deserves the opportunity to grow up with a strong sense of self, pride in her cultural heritage, and a connection to her community. Her foster parents are keeping Chanel separated from her grandmother and brother, depriving her of the nurturing relationships that are crucial for her emotional well-being and overall development.

You can help prioritize Chanel’s best interests, cultural heritage, and emotional well-being by facilitating her reunification with her grandmother, Aana Arlene. Please sign the petition to the Selawik Tribal Court LINK>Bring Chanel Home. I’m signing because I care about native children’s right to be raised within their indigenous community.

Without Secrecy or Shame

The mom’s group related to my youngest son once divided ourselves into tell/don’t tell. After that, we could no longer discuss, within the whole group, the medical technology that had brought all of us together. Our children were all born within a 4 month window of time. We’ve only gotten together once (and not all of us made it to the event) when our children were 2 years old. One woman who gave birth to twins developed a rapid breast cancer and is no longer with us. As to the others, I often wonder how the ones who were “don’t tell” will manage the reality of inexpensive DNA testing and matching services that are ubiquitous today. Though I never ask . . .

My family was always open about the truth but also did not make a big issue of it. Locally, I really didn’t think it was anyone else’s business. After our egg donor did 23 and Me, I got my husband a kit. Then we got both of our sons kits. That gave us an opportunity to talk over one Sunday night dinner about the whole circumstance of how we came to have them. They seem to understand that they would not exist any other way. As their biological mother (though they don’t have my genes – at least not from the egg that became them – who knows what all goes on in the womb ?), I don’t detect any difference in our relationships with one another – thankfully.

So, yesterday, I read this story that, of course, spoke to me in very personal ways. I suppose part of my own reasons for honest transparency had to do with the fact that I am a child of 2 adoptees and until after they had both died, I knew next to nothing about our origins. My only regret is that I didn’t uncover those details while they were still alive.

The story was part of LINK>Huffpost Personal and was submitted by Julee Newberger titled – My Parents Hid The Truth Of My Birth From Me. I Almost Did The Same To My Own Daughter. It is subtitled – “The longer we waited, the more anxious I became. If we didn’t tell her soon, I feared it could do lasting damage to our family.”

She explains – “When I was my daughter’s age, I believed I was the biological daughter of my doting mom and dad, who said they tried to have children for more than 10 years until, at last, I arrived. But I always sensed that something was amiss. There were no pictures of my mother pregnant or stories about my birth. Nobody in the family had my crooked smile or blue-green eyes. I’d overheard some whispered conversations about adoption, but whenever I asked my parents, they shut it down.”

“By the time an older cousin confirmed that I was adopted, I was in my early 40s and both my parents had passed away. This midlife discovery left me with tangled emotions and no way to work through it with the two people I’d loved and trusted most. It’s possible that my parents thought they were saving me from stigma or that they feared I’d abandon them in lieu of my biological family.”

Regarding the conception of her daughter, she notes – “I also experienced something I hadn’t anticipated ― a sense of shame, as if I had cheated nature. At 44, maybe I wasn’t supposed to be a new mother, and by extension, this beautiful baby wasn’t truly mine. . . . feeling like an imposter, somehow less ‘legit’ than the other moms.” Up until her daughter’s questions about ethnicity, she had told herself that it was too soon to explain donor conception to a child who was too young to understand how a baby was made.

So, this is how it proceeded – “As soon as she started asking about her ancestry, I bought a book called ‘You Began as a Wish’ by Kim Bergman, which talks about all the different ways kids are conceived. My husband and I planned for all of us to read it together, but my daughter preempted that by pulling the book out of a box of Amazon purchases after school.” The author continues, “My whole body tensed as she began reading aloud and asking questions: ‘So all kids are made up of sperm, an egg, a womb’ … ” So, Julee came out with it – “Remember we told you that Mommy had trouble getting pregnant at first?” I said matter-of-factly. “Well, an anonymous donor gave us an egg so that we could have you.”

“After a while, I could see recognition in her warm brown eyes, different in color and shape than my own. “So, I’m related to somebody else,” she said. The author notes – “A recent study on third-party reproduction. Results showed families have better outcomes when parents tell kids about their conception early on, ideally by the time they’re 7 years old. The longer we waited, the more anxious I became. If we didn’t do it soon, I feared it could do lasting damage to our family.”

blogger’s note – I don’t regret any of our choices. The situation is simply my family’s reality and we are far from alone in our circumstances. It is a whole new world thanks to medical progress.

Only Ever About Babies To Adopt

I thought this over a year ago, when the Dobbs decision was first leaked, before it was announced by the Supreme Court. Yesterday, I came across a widely diverse piece in the LINK>Politico Magazine Friday Read where “Thinkers from across the political spectrum reckon with the dramatic and unpredictable ways the country has already changed since the historic Supreme Court decision.” They titled their piece – ‘I Underestimated the Depth of Outrage’: A Year in Post-Roe America.

One piece written by Robin Marty, author of The New Handbook for a Post-Roe America, reads – “. . . the Christian conservative activists and politicians behind our total abortion ban abandoned their pretext that this was ever about anything other than making babies for their families to raise.” It occurs to me that with dwindling numbers of people going to brick and mortar churches, taking the babies of “heathens” (woman who did not remain chaste and conceive in marriage) and indoctrinating them in the faith is one way to increase their numbers.

She notes “. . . we have not seen one single public policy introduced that would help a person avoid pregnancy — no subsidizing of affordable, accessible contraception, no expansion of Medicaid for pregnancy prevention or earlier prenatal care, no additional funding for hospitals, clinics or other medical centers that are feeling the burden of additional pregnant patients needing services.”

“Instead, we saw a Legislature that created more subsidies for adoption and fostering — despite the fact that the foster care system is already underwater. The Legislature couldn’t even muster enough support among themselves to pass tax breaks for the predominantly Christian crisis pregnancy centers that are allegedly supporting mothers during pregnancy. We passed death certificates for stillbirths and “baby boxes” for abandoning newborns (now up to 45 days post-birth instead of just three). We saw an attorney general who argued that pregnant people could be jailed for taking abortion pills — who was then forced to walk back his words. We saw a lawmaker try to codify that same threat into law before his colleagues killed his bill in committee.”

She asks – What (do) the conservatives really want out of an “abortion-free” nation ? It is a place where people are forced into pregnancy, where their personal health and liberty has no relevance, and where the ideal outcome is a live infant by whatever costs. After all, they have plenty of “good” Christian families to raise them.

blogger’s note – I wonder what the real outcome will be ? – more single, unwed, mothers are choosing to keep and parent their own babies. There will be more children raised in poverty and more stressed out mothers trying their best to provide for their families. Maybe the “extra” number of babies they actually get out of this will be less than they thought there would be.

Another one, Abby M. McCloskey (who is a Republican) admits – “I have been disappointed that the rollback of abortion rights in red states — like mine, Texas — hasn’t been met with more robust financial support and protection for mothers and children. I understand that more government support is a turnoff for conservatives, especially in our fiscal environment. But in this case, I believe it’s the wrong place to draw a red line. As someone who values life and believes in the importance of strong families, it is a logical extension of the pro-life argument to protect and value life at all of its stages.”

She notes – One basic way to improve support for families is to provide a baseline level of wage support and job protection if a parent chooses to take time off of work to care for their baby, (which we know is associated with better outcomes for both parents and kids). Lack of job protection and financial insecurity are the leading reasons why (more parents don’t take time off from work following the birth or adoption of their child); few low-wage or hourly employees have paid family leave options from their employers.

She adds that she will be looking with great interest at what GOP presidential candidates propose this next cycle to support families, especially for the women impacted by the end of Roe.

blogger’s note – Of course, if people who can afford to pay for adoptions end up with the “extra” babies, the actual genetic, biological parents won’t need to the government to help them fund the raising of their own children. There are many more points of view in the Politico article at the link above.