Today’s blog is thanks to my friend, Ande Stanley and her The Adoption Files.
I like to garden. I was looking at fruit trees at the local plant nursery. An employee was describing the benefits of grafted fruit trees over the non grafted variety.
This seemed a natural process to compare with adoption. We even have the images of family trees to grapple with; whose tree do we belong to?
We are frequently informed, both directly and indirectly, of how much better off we are as adoptees, grafted onto this superior tree. So much so that there is no need, supposedly, for us to be curious about our origin tree. The tree that brought us forth, gave us life, and then lost a part of itself.
With grafts, a wound is left on the tree of origin. An incision is made on our next tree, a wound that closes around us to create a new fruiting branch.
We are on the tree, but not of it.
As I listen to the employee talk about extended life and new vigor and flowering and fruiting; about the cost of the tree and the benefits I would enjoy by planting this tree in my garden; I can’t stop thinking of another definition of the word graft: obtained by means of corruption.
So much corruption, deception, and coercion exists in adoption. Politicians routinely ignore this reality. There’s too much power and money involved for most to find an interest in backing the rights of adopted people. Always a loophole or a fabricated obstacle that can be employed to deny adoptees access to the truths of our origins. A way to perpetuate the graft.