Tag: Badgering

This Really Should Be Illegal

A mom’s story –

When I was 15 and found myself pregnant and no idea really what was gonna happen. I mean I knew but was naive at that age. I was thinking about adoption. My mom called catholic services to see where to go from there. At that age, I thought my mom knew best. Anyway about a week later I was driven 1 1/2 hours away to a new home with the hopeful adoptive parents. They set me up with state aid and monitored everything I put in my body food wise. At 15, I was scared and didn’t know what was normal and not normal. I stayed for about a month. When I told them I wanted to go home, I had to promise to still give them my baby or I don’t think they would of brought me back. I was screamed at for the entire hour and half drive back home. The day I came home from delivering my baby, the social worker was sitting in my living room asking me to sign the papers to give this couple my baby. I hadn’t brought her home yet. When I said I was keeping her. I was sternly talked to about how I can’t parent at my age and was making a huge mistake. The hospital even put me on a separate floor, so I would not to get attached. That whole experience was very traumatic. That baby girl is now 30 and about to graduate college on the dean’s list. She has 2 baby girls that I wouldn’t of known. I don’t think hopeful adoptive parents should be able to put you in their home to browbeat and bully you into letting them keep your baby. It really should be against the law.

It’s OK to Ask for Help

It may be rough going but it is OK to ask for help. Today’s story –

When I was first pregnant, I was terrified and reached out to an adoption agency! I just turned 20 weeks (today) and have mostly changed my mind but still unsure.

Today, the adoption coordinator has been harassing me! It’s been a few weeks since I have decided to reach out but I haven’t felt the need, have been busy working (I work 3 jobs to save up for birth, etc) and also need space! I also HAVEN’T signed anything. Today, she sent me a text, had the prospective Mom send me a text, called and sent an email. I’m feeling a little trapped at the moment, already feel guilty.

I have most things ironed out, other than my living situation and expectations and arrangements with the dad (we’re not together and he was emotionally abusive when together) which also weighs on why I don’t have a solid decision yet.

Some encouragement from someone who has been there and made it work –

I was homeless and moved 4 times while pregnant and 3 times since having my son – I was a waitress during Covid (he was born in 2021) and my hours were very low/tips were bad. We had a 1 room basement bachelor apartment. I didn’t have a car until I was over 20 weeks along.

We managed to make it. He is 2 now and thriving with me. I do think that a lot of people, had they known the extent of my situation, would’ve absolutely pressured me to put him up for adoption or called Child Protective Services on us. But I was determined to be his mom.

A lot of my success was due to the kindness of other people – who passed down hand me downs, baby clothing, furniture, etc. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and accept free stuff.