The Rich Exploiting The Poor

While it may not be meeting a stranger on a street corner and handing them a wad of cash and then, walking away with a newborn, it really isn’t much different – those with the financial means basically “buy” the babies of poorer people. It has been that way since almost Day 1 of the modern adoption industry. Georgia Tann had the belief that by taking the babies of poor people and placing them into the homes of rich people, the children would have a better outcome. She was involved in my mom’s adoption and took the baby of my destitute grandmother, who had been in effect abandoned by my grandfather (they were married and whether that was his intent can be debated but never answered), and sold her to my much more wealthy adoptive grandparents.

In our society, a birth mother offering her child, born or not yet born, for sale is reprehensible but adoptive parents advertising their willingness to adopt or adoption agencies advertising the children that are available for adoption is no problem, as noted in this piece at Adoption Birth LINK>Craigslist: You Can’t Sell Your Baby, But You Can Advertise FOR a Baby by Claudia Corrigan DArcy. In fact, Georgia Tann discovered the value of advertising back in her day.

It is unbelievable how much money is sloshing around in adoptionland. The sad reality is that this country is unwilling to support struggling single mothers or parents to parent their own children. Many an unmarried, unwed mother has surrendered a baby she would have loved to raise because she didn’t believe she was able to effectively support her child. In my all things adoption community, where adoptee voices and personal experiences are highly valued, the group encourages such struggling mothers and parents to give parenting their child a good try. Many find, once they spend time with their newborn, any sacrifice they have to make, any humbling necessary to get the supports they need are well worth it. We see many stories a few years later thanking us for encouraging them.

Just today, I completed a community survey for LINK>East Missouri Action Agency. They take a holistic approach to ending poverty; starting by addressing the most basic needs, eliminating them and applying progressive programs designed to move families into financial freedom. Over 21,000 people received services last year through EMAA’s Community Service programs. You too can find the supports you need, if you just make a determined effort.

What It’s Like To Age Out

Today’s story (not my story) –

I’m in Kansas. From age 2 to 18 I was in and out of the foster system. I aged out 4/27/2022, 11 days after my 18th birthday. The state aged me out and left me with nothing. I stayed living with my kinship placement for awhile. The night before graduation she kicked me out and the day of graduation texted me telling me she expected me to come home and get ready for graduation. She kicked me out again, after I told her I was taking a semester off before starting college. I spent the hottest part of summer homeless and couch surfing. I came back to her house 9/21/2022 and it’s been rocky. She continuously threatens to kick me out, which would be fine but I have nowhere to go. I have a Div of Child and Family Services worker at the moment, who is somewhat helping me out but she is hard to get ahold of. I am currently working as a server and about to become a manager as well as starting college this month. I don’t have many options right now and don’t really know what to do.

One adoptee offered this advice (which I agree with) – Don’t go back to that house. And honestly if u make more as a server don’t take the management position unless it’s more money. I’ve only taken lead server roles where I made more hourly and got to keep my tips also. Look on LINK>Roomster – it’s an app for roommates. That way you can at least get a room of your own. While you work on yourself. And it turns out that the management position is $2 more than what she is making now. And if she get tips while being a manager, she gets to keep them.

Since she indicated transportation issues, one person suggested that in some states, the Department of Vocational Rehabilitation will provide Driver’s Education classes for people who need to be able to drive themselves to and from job searches/work. She wrote back – I passed the driver’s education class, but had to be medically cleared. By the time I was finally medically cleared I had to retake to test and haven’t been able to.

Re: the housing issues, after someone suggested Catholic Charities (and talking to an advisor at the college about what might be available to share), she adds – “I did have rapid rehousing with Catholic Charities but when I worked at Amazon, I lost it because I made too much.”

And I didn’t realize Reddit could be helpful – there was this – Reddit is more anonymous and you can post on your local sub (probably r/”city name” as well as r/assistance, r/almost homeless, r/ex_foster and r/fosterit.) Your college might also have some resource suggestions, google “college name” + “counseling department.” Assuming you’re in the US, call 211 as well.

I rented rooms in apartments and houses from age 19-28 with roommates I found off of Craigslist, despite it’s bad rap. Many rooms do not require a credit score (I moved countries once, and credit scores don’t transfer.)

Also look up YMCA Host Homes to see if that’s a thing in your city, it’s a small program but could be an option.

All this, just to give you an idea of what these young people are up against. There is much more and I am hopeful that somehow my group which is so resourceful will be able to help this young woman somehow.