Utah – The Exploitative State ?

I happen to like the state of Utah as a tourist. The concerning stories about Utah may be old or obsolete at this point. It read – Utah’s adoption system is by consensus the most exploitative in the nation — a clearinghouse for fast-track, high-dollar placements. Adoption regulations in Utah may be laxer than other states. A couple of hopeful adoptive parents disagree – we had to pass a state background check, and a Federal FBI background check and we had to pass a child abuse background screening as well. However, the hopeful adoptive mother noted – “It can be a huge way for adoptive families to be scammed, for both moms to be scammed, and it can be scary because there’s not a lot of regulation to it.”

I don’t know but it came up in a group again today. Here’s an old story – In 2019, Utah Attorney General’s office announced 11 felony charges against Paul D Petersen. The AG’s office alleges Petersen ran an illegal adoption scheme where he “recruited, transported, and offered payment to pregnant Marshallese women to give their babies up for adoption” in Utah and in other states.

There are risk factors that unfortunately make Utah a good place for people to take advantage of others. Utah’s laws are very pro-adoption. Unwed fathers have a very difficult time asserting their rights in Utah. In some states, unwed fathers automatically have a right to notice and consent. The speed in which adoption can be ordered, the fact that private agencies can handle adoption and the fact that monies can be paid to the relinquishing parents make Utah suspect. One positive change would be to eliminate payment from the adoptive parents or the adoption agency to relinquishing parents.

Fact is – many generalizations made about adoption are just that – generalizations. They have little applicability to specific situations.

Some red flags for any people looking to adopt –

Any adoption process that pays a woman to place their child for adoption. Utah law states agencies can only help pay for pregnancy-related costs for an expectant parent.
If adoptive families notice that agencies or attorneys are charging them for pregnancy-related costs that are tens of thousands of dollars, ask what that money is going toward and if they have documentation. Check to see if the charges are indeed due to pregnancy-related costs and not ways to encourage birth mothers to place their child for adoption.
If an agency or an attorney is unable to explain costs or their fee schedule, this is reason for concern.
If a birth parent has flown in from another state and uses Utah Medicaid. They are not residents and this should raise concern.
If a birth parent does not have any healthcare benefits or Medicaid to help pay for medical costs. If the adoptive family is having to pay for medical expenses all out of pocket, ask the agency or attorney why this is the case.

Also –

If there is a circumstance where agencies or attorneys are flying birth parents into the state of Utah specifically for adoption, inquire about what their process is and why the parent is not placing in the state they reside in. In some circumstances, individuals elect to use Utah to place for adoption due to some of the laws that are not as strict as laws in the birth parent’s residing state. One example is that Utah law does not require birth fathers to relinquish rights in order to move forward with an adoption plan. Also if a birth mother is advised not to involve the father, this is a red flag.
If an agency or attorney is promising a baby for an adoptive family quickly, it is likely too good to be true.
If the adoption cost goes up suddenly at the hospital, this is a red flag.
If you find that adoption costs are different amounts for different races, this is reason for concern.

If you have reason to suspect unethical adoption practice you can:

Report it to the Office of Licensing
Report this to the attorney’s bar, if it is a private adoption
File a police report
Contact The Division of Child and Family Services

A Sad Reality

Adoptees are 4 times more likely to commit suicide than non-adoptees are. Why is that ? Maybe because being adopted is not all unicorns and rainbows.

So today comes this sad story.

I work in animal rescue because I couldn’t handle working for the Department of Children and Families. It’s a corrupt system.

Today I took a phone call that really got to me and started a small debate between others in the office at the time.

The caller said a 26 year old adoptee had killed herself and left four cats behind. One cat was found dead with her. One cat a friend took and the other two the rescue I work in is taking. We learned these animals were without food for sometime. Meaning no one had checked up on her.

I was told the adoptive mom was a bad alcoholic, adoptive father is a prominent well known doctor. That the 26 year old suffered years of mental health issues. I told the caller we would take in the two two cats no questions asked and no surrender fee. When the caller asked me why… I responded that as an adoptee myself….

My heart breaks for any adoptee who was this upset and hurting to take her own life in front of pets who she saved and loved. I said most adoptees have trauma and pain and it seldom gets better even with the best therapy! She thanked me and I’ll meet the lady Friday with the two cats.

When I got off the phone the two other people in the office told me I cannot generalize adoptive people that way. That many adoptive people are happy! I’m like no… I’m an adoptee and while my life on the outside may look perfect and my own children are …. I cry daily and have struggled my entire life. In my teens, I wanted to die! So I told them unless they were an adoptee nothing that they could tell me would change my view!

The truth is that the lived experience of many adoptees makes those who have not experienced it, uncomfortable.

October 30th is Adoptee Remembrance Day.