Bribing DNA Test Sites ?

I do have my doubts about the bribing but it is a real concern for the adoptee in today’s story.

I have semi-recently remembered that I am adopted, something that my parents hid from me and still do not admit. So are my siblings, but all of us are not related to our parents and each other. Certainly, not as closely as immediate family. We started to guess that we were adopted when we were children. Our allergies were very different. And for me again in 7th grade, when we did a genetics unit. My siblings and I don’t talk about it now as adults. When I was in college, I hired a private investigator and he unearthed so much that everyone was lying about, including this. I’m really wanting to do so again, but can’t afford it. A DNA test isn’t a given, because my parents have money (I don’t) and they can bribe the testing site to give fake results, it’s happened before. I did get real results when I was an adolescent, but I can’t remember what they were except for a few parts. I don’t know what happened to the test result papers. I had wanted to keep them forever.

One suggestion – Once you do an Ancestry or 23 and Me test, I suggest joining DNA Detectives and ask for a search angel. Search angels are volunteers who help you find your biological family for free, if you are interested in that.

Someone else pointed out – Ancestry, 23andMe etc have very strict rules and I very much doubt that they could be bribed to give you false results. You wouldn’t even have to get your parents to test. With a bit of detective work and some close enough matches, you can prove if you are related to your parents or not.

Yet another person notes – you’d probably be disturbed to learn the extents small local places are willing to go to protect recipient parents. I wouldn’t be surprised if a local facility was supportive and even somehow involved with misinforming the adoptee. Something can be illegal, yet people/businesses can still (and often do) break the law. “Illegal” doesn’t mean “impossible” or even “unlikely”.

More than one expressed this thought – now is NOT the time to tell original poster to seek mental health help. Dissociation is a trip. It’s not surprising someone would suppress or dissociate away from the information that they’re adopted. Imagine finding something like that out after being lied to. People are going to process something like that at their own speed and seek help when they feel ready.

One adoptee added – don’t we all need some professional mental healthcare for our adoptions and lifetimes of traumas!? The lucky few have access to those resources.

And something like this DOES happen and so someone shares this story about a person that didn’t find out he was adopted until he was 40. His sister said that they tried to tell him when he was 6 years old and he got really upset – so they decided to just not bring it up again. He was very different looking to his parents. He finally got tested. It took him a bit to be ok with it all but now he is.

What Really Happens

Upper pic – the minute he was recovered.
The lower pic – Mom is settled and her son latched without an issue!
He knows and missed his MOM!

From LINK>Saving Our Sisters – Here’s the Houston update!!!

Baby was successfully recovered yesterday afternoon and is home in his Momma’s arms, where he is intended to be. Like majority of our other cases, there are MANY things that are wrong with this case.

I won’t lay out everything – but – there is A LOT that is BAD about this case. The most sickening thing is – they wouldn’t allow her to see her baby while in the hospital – even after she asked. She was all alone in her room while the prospective adoptive couple had their own room in this hospital and had her infant with them. Think about the cruelty of this and the impact on this Mom and her innocent baby. Mom wrote she felt ‘as if she was being punished’.

Being a holiday (Memorial Day) – other than to ask Mom to get together to ‘sign the rest of the paperwork’ (i.e. consent) in the morning – the adoption agency owner/director was NON-responsive – when Mom formally requested in writing, signed copies of any and all paperwork. She had no idea what she signed – and here’s why…..

Mom discovered only what she signed, after we told her to go in and review her medical chart. Ready for this?????? Just 3 HOURS & 59 MINUTES after having a Caesarean, a licensed hospital social worker documented Mom signing an “Authorization for Release of Newborn” It was signed and notarized with the original to be given to the “medical team”. This form authorized the hospital to give the infant to the prospective adoptive parents. Mom hardly remembers signing it and was only reminded of having signed something, by reviewing her chart. There was no copy of the paperwork she signed in her chart, even though the note referenced it would be.

Finally, after being ignored Monday, a response came in via text from the adoption agency owner/director Tuesday stating “I didn’t have you sign anything, that was the hospital.” Mom then responded with a clear and concise revocation of any consents that that may have been granted, demanded the immediate return of her son and that she has the resources she needs to not have to be unnecessarily separated from her son.

It is always agonizing waiting for the confirmation and acknowledgement of the revocation. We never know how they are going to react and if, they are going to agree to return the baby. One thing ALWAYS rings true……They never want to follow directions to reply to Mom ONLY IN WRITING. They ALWAYS call her or begin to text her and ask her to call them. This is just another way to put pressure on the Mom. The agency owner/director did (in a roundabout way) acknowledge the Mom’s revocation. She didn’t provide any response about the place or time the Mom’s son would be returned – so we were still on pins and needles waiting to figure out what they were going to do.

Finally a text comes in with an address and “You can come pick him up at this address”. It is puzzling how the prospective adoptive parents didn’t have a car or car seat to transport her son and this Mom, who just had a C-section, was expected to “figure it out” and pick up her son – after the agency owner/director had offered to “get Mom an Uber home,” when she was discharged.

Then Mom gets a puzzling text “I just left there to find you”…. (What? She was told she could pick him up at this address.) Then “What time will you be here?” Then “Do you want to rework an open adoption agreement etc with them?” She restates her revocation and confirms she will be at the address shortly.

They arrive, recovery happens – after some questioning about the paperwork Mom had them sign. For example: “Why there were so many copies?” – so EVERYONE got a copy.
“Why is there was paperwork at all ?” – so Mom can correct the birth certificate – because they had already named him – and vital records will need documentation that she now has her own son.

Our Sister On The Ground handled the exchanges beautifully and with tact. Thank you Faith, for answering the call, thank you to your family for allowing you to give us your time to help this Mom recover her sweet baby, shop for her, capturing the ‘firsts’ of bringing baby home and staying with Mom, setting up the bassinet, washing the new baby items and getting Mom bonding with her son! You are amazing! ❤

The activity described here HAS TO STOP. Everyone is vulnerable in this situation, but especially the Mom, who had NO ONE advocating for her! Pre-birth matching is COERCIVE. Prospective adoptive parents in the hospital is COERCIVE. Licensed social workers having a Mom, just hours after major surgery who is clearly under the influence of heavy drugs, sign legal documents is UNETHICAL, IRRESPONSIBLE, ILLEGAL and a violation of her patient bill of rights and I’m sure there has got to be a violation of the social worker’s responsibilities and oath she took to be granted a license.

We had 20 volunteers register to be a Sister On The Ground in the last 3 days. Believe me when I tell you – this work is all worth it. When you see that Mom in total relief and overcome with emotions, when her baby is back in her arms, and you see her baby so content and becoming connected with their siblings, a baby that will never know what being separated unnecessarily is like – it is worth all the stress, pins and needles and hurry up and wait emotions that we all go through during these recoveries.

Thank you to our long time supporters and brand new ones who have recently found us and learned about what we do. Moms who have lost children to adoption, adopted persons, adoptive/foster parents who believe family preservation is best – we need everyone working towards the same goal – preserving families !

You Never Owe Someone Else Your Baby

In my all things adoption group, the prime mission is to keep mothers and their babies together. To discourage them from choosing a rash permanent solution to whatever their temporary problem is that has caused them to consider relinquishing their baby to strangers. The pressure to do so, due to a shortage of newborn infants available for adoption, is huge. Today’s story –

An expectant mother in Illinois has received assistance from some hopeful adoptive parents since end of March. She’s uncomfortable with them, wants to back out and keep her child, but is afraid. They are already threatening her with things like being sued if she backs out.

Now for a reality check – She should absolutely back out. Keep her child. Sued for what? Money? It would be a waste of their time. She could have a judgment against her but then, they would have to file to collect. If she received assistance from them, she may be lower income and therefore, the likelihood they would be able to collect at all isn’t looking promising. Maybe she signed a contract, but so what ? She still doesn’t owe somebody her baby. She cannot be forced to sign over the baby. Stop contact. Breathe. Stress is no good for the baby.

Nothing they can legally do would be worse than mom losing her baby.

I’d say “take me to court then!” Your gut feeling is correct. Keep your baby!

Even if they paid her a lot of money, it qualifies as a gift because otherwise, it would literally be considered bribery and/or extortion to obtain a child. There is no valid contract available to give your baby to someone for money and it would probably be them getting in trouble if they did have one written up and signed. It’s not illegal in any way to decide you want to parent your own child.

They can’t take her to court. They can’t do anything. If they were to try, they would get themselves in bigger trouble because it means they intended to buy a baby. The law prevents adoption agreements before birth. She should cut all contact and ignore them.

To get them to leave her alone, she could in writing, sent by certified mail, send them a letter stating that any further contact will be considered criminal harassment. She can send them a cease and desist outline warning them that any future contact will result in legal action, including a no-contact order. Any assistance they provided is legally a gift. She could also remind them that paying money or goods in exchange for a child is a federally a trafficking charge.

You can’t buy a baby, and that’s what they are trying to do. If they are with an agency, the agency might try to make her think she needs to give them the baby, but that’s also illegal on their part. Gifts are given with no assumption of anything in return, and items given to “birth moms” (hate that they use that before birth – totally grooming) are expressly and legally classified as gifts. Also, just in general, even if she still was considering adoption, this is a major, massive, huge red flag that these are not good people and should not be parents to anyone’s child. Maybe not even their own biological kids. This is really sick behavior and indicative of people with serious issues.

And why is this so important ? Here’s a true story from another woman in this same kind of situation.

I received some money when I was considering that same choice. I backed out and everything seemed okay. The hopeful adoptive mom showed up at the hospital unannounced, after the baby was born. She just walked into my room (I forgot to terminate my release of information, so when I had the baby she was notified and flew in from California.) She had these baby clothes with her that she had embroidered with the name she had chosen for my daughter. I honestly thought she was going to kidnap her. She ran when I pushed the call button. After that the hospital heightened security and no one could find us without a code. It was a scheduled c section, but it wasn’t scheduled until that last month. I wasn’t in contact with them by that time. It was pretty scary, but the hopeful adoptive parents never retaliated nor were they able to sue me or try to take my child. I’m mentioning this story so hopefully nothing like that happens to anyone else. If you change your mind, don’t forget to tell the hospital to terminate releases of information! You don’t owe them your baby.