Tag: Marketing Adoption

Product Placement

Product placement is a marketing technique in which a product or service is showcased in some form of media, such as television shows, movies, music videos, social media platforms, or even ads for other products. Advertising professionals sometimes call this an embedded marketing strategy.

We watched this movie, Believe In Me, last night. It was an engaging and heartwarming story about the coach of a girl’s basketball team in the 1960s. What was a bit surprising was the insertion of a very common kind of adoption narrative into a movie that didn’t need that to succeed. The narrative was true enough on the surface, as depicted in the movie – the male’s infertility, the woman’s deep desire to become a mother, the visit by the social worker and the last minute call to rush to the hospital to get their soon to be adopted baby girl. I loved the part about the girls rockin and rollin dance moves on the basketball court, as a strategy that made the coach’s effort different from how boys would be coached to play.

Because I have been sensitized to all things adoption, I noticed and my husband even noticed too. He wondered what I thought of it. So, I went looking to see if the adoption part of the movie was part of the true story. The 2006 film is based on the novel “Brief Garland: Ponytails, Basketball and Nothing but Net” by Harold Keith. The novel is about Keith’s real life nephew, Jim Keith. Asked about how factual the book or movie were, the coach laughed and said, “The book about 80 percent and the movie maybe 70.” The coach passed away in 2011. That part of his story is in this WordPress blog – LINK>”Here I Stand“. His wife, Jorene, had died before him in October of 2009.

I eventually found that the adoption part of the story is true – as written up in The Oklahoman LINK>Oklahoman’s novel to become movie – the couple adopted two children: a son, James, who lives in Oologah OK, and a daughter, Jeri, who lives in Lansing KS. They also eventually were able to enjoy their three grandchildren being part of their lives.

So, I will admit that the insertion of an adoption story into this movie does not appear to be an effort by the adoption industry to add a positive element into a movie, that it was not otherwise a part of. No way of knowing how intentional the push may have been by anyone involved with the industry. However, the movie didn’t really need that additional part of the couple’s story. Common adoption narratives are – that the birth parent did not want the child, the birth parent could not afford to provide for the child (sadly, too often absolutely believed by the mother to be a real reason), the birth parent was negligent, abusive, or somehow incapable of parenting, and finally that the adoptive parents so wanted these children, and that does appear to be true in the actual story of Coach Keith.

Utterly Disgusting Attitude

This adoptive mother thinks she has it all figured out but adoptees and many biological mothers are NOT buying it. This is why open adoptions close and is used as a marketing tool. This comment is very disrespectful towards birth moms. Many do think about their children. They grieve. They feel loss too. Keeping birth parents away will not prevent the child from feelings of abandonment.

From the adoptive mother – I kinda feel like some groups in the adoption triad lean towards having relationships with biological relatives. Not every time though. I felt in our situation, it is toxic. So I joined several groups… I honestly don’t think it’s the best decision in like 90 percent of these situations. It seems like everyone wants to sugar coat the biological parents. The fact is they couldn’t/didn’t want to get their crap together for their children…. We did!!! I decided to do some research and joined groups that I didn’t fit in…Like I am in a “I regret my adoption, birth parents group” and “Adoptees who didn’t find out they were adopted until they were adults” and even a “I regret my abortion group.” I think it’s the best thing I have ever done and it has truly been an eye opener to see ALL sides. I joined the abortion group after seeing several women in the “I regret my adoption” group say that, because their ADULT biological children didn’t want anything to do with them, they wish they had just aborted them.

Anyway, I’ve come to understand a few things. My adopted daughter will not have any type of relationship with her biological mom, because that is when trauma happens. They are too young to understand why someone can’t be around, so they feel unloved. My daughter knows she’s adopted but doesn’t know what it means. She’s 4 years old. I am telling her things like her name changed to our name, she wasn’t in my belly. I won’t lie ever to her. I keep a record of why she doesn’t get to see her biological mom (her dad passed away).

When she is old enough to be told the 100 percent truth, it will not be a shock, and like I said I will never lie to her. If I feel like the time isn’t right for a question she asks, I’ll just say that I will tell her that part when she’s a little older. Most adoptee’s end up hating their biological parents the most…. Then, they are mad that they were lied to by their adoptive parents….and they do want to know some history, and they like to have their old records (I made sure I have my daughter’s original birth certificate and social security card). I had to change her social security number because someone in her biological family was using her old number…

Most adoptees are mad at their adoptive parents for sharing pictures with the biological parents. Most wish they weren’t lied to but had the chance to have a stable childhood, where they didn’t even know they were abandoned…. They wish they had the chance to grow up in a healthy environment, instead of the adoptive parents taking care and caring so much about the biological parents who abandoned them. Adoptive parents feel guilty but shouldn’t… it isn’t the adoptive parents fault that the biological parents don’t want to be there. We cannot force them and popping in and out isn’t healthy. There needs to be boundaries. Most adoptive parents are empaths (that’s what brought them to adoption), we almost feel the birth parents pain of losing a child, but the fact is, most of the birth parents aren’t even thinking of these kids 99.9 percent of the time and have never been empaths or they would have taken care of their children.

I’ll never make my daughter feel unloved by anyone!! She won’t have to deal with all of the adults problems in her childhood, she will have a happy one!! So that’s my plan… lol

Anyway, good luck! Go join some groups. Several groups. They are all different and definitely seek all sides of each group. Every situation is different and just never make ANY person feel like someone doesn’t love them or they weren’t wanted. Keeping that biological family away in most cases insures that they WONT feel abandoned. We all want what’s best for OUR kids and all we can do is our best.

A few thoughts from the “other” side – “well, doesn’t she have it all figured out ?”

Being abandoned, makes us feel abandoned. Adult adoptees who found out later in life, prove this. They say they always felt like they didn’t belong, like they weren’t loved or couldn’t feel loved, even when it was shown – like a big piece of them was missing. It didn’t matter that nobody bothered to tell them there was a piece missing, they knew it.

And the empath stuff – I just CAN NOT. I feel like she read somewhere that adoptive mothers lean toward narcissism, and she’s just trying to say the opposite and have that take hold as a public opinion. This lady seems like a piece of work. I feel bad for her adoptee, because it’s sounds like mommy has it all figured out how to just side step her child’s experience of being traumatized at all. I’m honestly in awe of this person’s audacity. Just wow.