Tag: Ovulation Prediction

Cofertility

Just learned about this company today – the latest in the fertility industry/adoption industrial complex predicated on the “right to parenthood”. With some young women delaying motherhood these days, only to discover later on in life they can no longer conceive, I can understand the allure of participating in this venture. Beyond that, I really can’t encourage anyone to do this but clearly it is something that some couples are turning to in order to further their efforts to conceive.

The company notes – Whether you want to freeze your eggs for free when donating half to another family or you’re looking to build your family through egg donation, we’ve got you.

There are concerns in the donor conceived community regarding the right to fully informed consent. It was noted that there are also attempts to game-ify adoption by companies that are using swiping apps designed similarly to Tinder to match expectant mothers with hopeful adopters. 

At the company’s website, they have a link called LINK>”Our Stance“. It notes that they stand for reproductive choice. And egg freezing is just that — a choice that a woman makes over her own body and future. The American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) states that egg freezing “promotes social justice by reducing the obstacles women currently face because their reproductive window is smaller than men’s.” We couldn’t agree more, and we’re proud to do our part to lessen constraints placed on women by offering more accessible egg freezing options. That said, we acknowledge that egg freezing and egg donation are not without their critiques. The processes come with big questions, and we want to be transparent about where we stand.

I agree with Cofertility that there is a dearth of fertility education. Many women do not realize how early in their life, their ability to conceive will become “old age” in that regard. I know that was honestly the situation with my husband and I. We did the whole ovulation prediction and timed sex thing, only to discover that my own eggs where almost all gone and the ones that remained unlikely to develop into a viable pregnancy. It is still the wild west out there – when it comes to couples who are experiencing infertility finding some way to build their family. Polarized politics are not helping the situation. Sellers and buyers need to be as fully informed as possible.

Pioneering A New Way

I remember clearly in 1978, when Lesley Brown made reproductive history delivering the first baby conceived by in vitro fertilization.  I had become a mother myself in 1973.  While good news of medical capability for a lot of infertile couples, never did I dream at the time that these developments would become significant in my own life.  The technique raised moral and medical alarms 42 years ago but is commonplace today.

When my husband of 10 years wanted to have children, we diligently tried using ovulation prediction to enhance our chances.  I was devastated to learn via a news report that our odds of conceiving were very low because I had grown too old, my eggs had aged along with me.  I remember going to the witness tree where my husband and I were wed in 1988 and cried.  He should have married a younger woman.

The nurse practitioner at my general practitioner’s office was counseling me about my cholesterol levels when I mentioned that we were trying to conceive.  I remember her words clearly, “I’m not saying you are infertile, but at your age, you don’t have time to waste.”  She referred me to her own OB/Gyn as a specialist in such issues.

We saw my very last “viable” egg on ultrasound at our first appointment with him.  He tried a hormonal boost but it failed to produce a pregnancy.  He also told us there was another way.  I began to research that way.  I found online groups for support and information.

When we discovered I was positive for hepC in a routine series of pre-conception lab tests, that doctor dropped me.  However, my OB/Gyn said my co-existing with that virus should not preclude me having children (he had experience with hepatitis in Asia during his early intern training).

We found a donor for ourselves and she has been a gem for serving couples to become parents, participating in the conception of both of our sons.  Happily, they are 100% siblings with common genetic foundations.  It isn’t perfect, genetically she is their mother and I am not.  That has taken some getting used to.  No one else could be more their mother either as they grew in my womb and bonded with me there and during breastfeeding for the whole first year of their life afterwards.

Because of divorce and being a financially struggling single mother, I lost physical custody of my genetically related daughter to her father and step-mother to raise.  I really thought of myself as a terrible person for not raising my own child.  Because of my sons, I now know that is not the truth about me.  Since learning about the trauma related to mother-child separations in adoption, I also realize what my husband and I did to overcome infertility was the next best choice for conceiving our family.