The Self Missing A Part

I keep this image of my dad with his adoptive parents within sight of my computer.

This is how my dad was – my adopted mother is my mother, the other one simply doesn’t exist.

He never realized that a whole part of himself was missing.

One of my dad’s half-siblings lived only 90 miles away from him in the same state at the time he died, totally unaware that someone who could have shared with him what his original mother was like was close at hand.

Does the father even know ?  This was a question my step-cousin asked of me when I finally nailed down who my dad’s father was (his mother was unwed and his father a married man).  I don’t believe my dad’s Danish immigrant father did, because by the time she knew she was pregnant, she probably also knew he was married.

My Granny was a force in my life.  I believe she intervened so that my parents married when my high school age mom discovered she was pregnant.  She also intervened when I was in a dangerous romantic relationship, opening the way for me to meet the man I’ve been married to for over 30 years now.

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