I have frequently seen where adoptees, once they are adults, change the name their adoptive parents gave them. The name is like being possessed by “new” parents with their own ideas about who you should be or become.
Just today, I read this from an adoptee – I just had my name legally changed (old A-given middle name changed to my original last name). The process was much faster and easier than I expected. My question for those who have done this before- what is the best order for changing it everywhere else? I know I need a new SS card, amended birth certificate, credit cards, driver’s license, passport, etc. The form for amending the Birth Certificate asks for the original judge’s order (I have that) but specifically states that it won’t be returned. I’m afraid I’ll need it for other places, so do I wait and do that last? It’s all a bit overwhelming and looking online for information was not very helpful. Thank you for any insight you can add.
One adoptive parent noted – Some of this may vary by state, but you can get additional “original” copies of the judge’s order (think they have to have an official stamp). I’d probably try to do passport first, because that can serve as a preferred form of ID for everything else. She notes – We did this exact thing for our adopted kids (international adoption, their country automatically deleted their birth last name in the adoption process, so we went to court to get it back). The first things we updated were their birth certificates and certificates of citizenship, but I think that’s just for foreign-born citizens.
A mother of loss who is also a legal professional shared – In Arizona, the “original” order stays with the court and we request “certified” copies. An original certified copy is just as good as the “original” for all legal purposes. See if this is an option in your state. An adoptee shared – I did this in 2009 (got rid of my hated adoptive parent given middle name and took back my true and original at birth last name) but I don’t remember them keeping the original. Maybe they did do that because I do have an original certified document.
An adoptee who had a first + middle name change shared her process – I was told in Washington state: (1) Name change in the court, get the notarized name change form (get extras, they cost money & you can go back, even though you’ve already done the court), (2) Social security office, (3) DMV, (4) Passport – then everything else. She adds – I skipped the passport because we have enhanced ID in WA but this was the only way to do it really. DMV wouldn’t proceed until Social Security had finished, my Credit Card wouldn’t proceed until I brought in my new ID. Don’t forget to update your name at work, so your taxes don’t get weird. I didn’t change my birth certificate because I was born in a different state than the one I live in and it was too much work. I also have never applied for a passport but I believe they look at your birth certificate ? In that case, birth certificate should go after DMV and before passport. The “everything else”: bank info, car registration, w4, health insurance, etc didn’t have any particular order for me but also I own no assets. If you have a mortgage, they might be finicky but calling whoever makes those happen will get you answers easily, on what they want you to do. also my super secret life hack for dealing with bureaucracy like the social security office and DMV is to go as rural as possible. They’re not slammed busy, they’re nicer, and it’s easier to get appointments. Doing this made my whole process so much smoother
Missing Mom 