Why Is This ?

I live in a county with a small rural county seat – so as I was reading today, this caught my attention –

I am a social worker for a school district in a small rural town. It is surprising that being a small town, we have an alarmingly high rate of students who were adopted/in foster. This town (maybe not surprisingly) leans conservative and religious (which isn’t necessarily negative, but in my experience they tend to make assumptions and have unfair opinions about these children).

My ask is this: what supports can I offer that the students might actually be interested in ? I offer support groups but have little turnout (this could be because of guardians, I’m unsure). I’m looking for anything and everything that might help. What helped you – who are adoptees or formerly foster care youth ? Different types of groups, books, movies, classes, posters, or is just being a listening ear enough ? I’m just really trying to find a way to genuinely support and help them know they have a person who is on their side in this community.

One transracial adoptee shared – My adoptive mom moved to a small mountain town and they also had a huge amount of adopted and foster kids. I think it was because there were 3 separate children’s homes all in town, a juvenile detention, and a couple of the youth wilderness camps. Not sure why they were all right there but it may help the kids to be able to participate in your support groups and even extra curriculars, if you reach out directly to these places ? Maybe the kids want to participate but nobody is available to sign permission slips for them ?

A woman who is from a rural town and was in foster care as a youth suggests – that after-school activities are difficult because you need someone to pick you up and you have to be vulnerable with your caregivers and inform them you wish to do something. How about a lunch group ? Maybe the school would sign off on a therapy group during school hours (no different than pulling kids during certain classes for school therapy). I had a therapy group that was basically a stitch and bitch – we got to crochet and talk about things.

Another adoptee asked – why in that small town, are so many children being placed in foster care and adopted ? Maybe your focus could be on the why, the families that need support and how to change the narrative. The social worker’s guess is –  it’s because it’s religious leaning and the truth that religious people love adopting kids and fostering. We do have a lot of stuff going on with parents, and I have been thinking about this and love the encouragement; if I want to help ANY kid, most of the time the root of the problem is the parent/guardians. One adoptee then noted (and this blogger agrees) – whenever I encounter a community with a lot of foster and adopted kids, it’s generally because many in the community are impoverished and the state and county lack the political will to care for the most vulnerable.

One adoptee shares her personal experience –  I was in the 8th grade when I was adopted. A lot of people in elementary school knew I was a foster, but by middle school there were so many new people that (other than my elementary friends who stayed at the same school as me) no one knew. It was pretty fantastic to be “unknown”. Then, in 8th grade, I was unwillingly adopted, and devastated. I missed a day of school for it, and when I came in the next day – my English teacher announced, as I walked in “congratulations! Everyone say congratulations, “M” finally got adopted yesterday!” I tried to sink through the floor and disappear. I didn’t want anyone to know I was ever a foster. I didn’t want to be adopted. Middle school girls are rough enough without ammunition. Teachers absolutely need to be educated on dealing with fosters and adoptees.