An adoptee writes – I’m feeling really disheartened about finding my birth mother. I know her full name and her birth date. I also know the name of her husband but not his last name and I know the name of their first daughter together. So I’ve tirelessly searched the internet over and over and over again and cannot find anything. I asked a relative of mine who is an ex-police officer and a current private investigator to use his search system to find her and it came up with zero results. This basically never happens because there are always birth records, death records, wedding records, house records, etc. Which means that she must have scrubbed herself off the internet or she’s in something like witness protection and they scrubbed it for her.
This comes on top of me being read a letter that she wrote to me listing her favorite things, though I’ve never met her and I am 33 now. We have the same favorite author and the same favorite artist and the same taste in music. I breaks my heart that not only did I lose out on time with her but now I know I probably will never find her. I know there is DNA testing but it’s not really an option for me at this time, and if she has gone through so much effort to wipe herself off of the internet and not locatable in the world – I am going to go ahead and guess that she probably would not have done Ancestry testing.
blogger’s note – I know how sad it was for my adoptee mom the learn her birth mother had died some years before Tennessee refused to give her any of her adoption file (which they did have). I have that file now. It would have brought my mom so much comfort had they just given it to her.
Missing Mom 