Today’s happy ending –
I placed my baby for adoption at birth. Thanks to adoptee advocates against surrendering my baby, I was able to get him back without issue, at 4 days old. The hospital I delivered at, would not allow me to name him, only the hopeful adoptive parents could *because he was their baby* So, he now has since had a name change.
I still do not have his social security information, nor did the hospital tell me how to get it, only saying it would be sent to the hopeful adoptive parents. So there are questions – How do I go about getting this? What documents are needed?
*when I had his birth certificate changed to the name I had chosen for him, they took and kept my court order granting the name change.
*his birth certificate still shows at the bottom his original “birth name.” Is there a way to have that removed? His name is now as it should have been from birth. I would really like to try and forget about the mistake I made placing him and not be asked about it by him, when he is older. I never want him to feel that he was ever unwanted.
Added for clarification later – I did not revoke consent until a few days later. The agency contacted the hopeful adoptive parents and had them bring my baby back. I left the hospital when baby was roughly 6 hours old. I think I knew I wasn’t going to be able to go through with it, but I don’t think the hospital did. The nurse had mentioned that she felt it was necessary the hopeful adoptive parents name him, when I asked why the form was already filled out with their chosen name. I was emotional and don’t do well with confrontation, so I just signed off.
The agency had told the hopeful adoptive parents that the baby had been born and they should come to the hospital. This was in spite of me asking for more time with my baby. I do have to add that my leaving the hospital was approved but advised against by the doctor. At my 6 week follow up, I had the same doctor. Not my usual doctor, who later cried happy tears when I walked in with my baby.
There is always time to change your mind and decide to keep and parent your baby. There are limits on that amount of time but there is a revocation period. This varies by state and once the adoption is finalized is irrevocable. More information here LINK> Can I Get My Baby Back After Adoption? – What to Know About Adoption Consent Revocation.
The Social Security Administration has a blog about LINK> getting a baby’s social security number. In answer to one question – Your newborn does not have to accompany you to apply for a Social Security card. If you did not use the Enumeration at Birth (EAB) program, there is information here – LINK> Social Security Numbers for Children. This early in a baby’s life, almost everything can be corrected.