Tag: Good Parenting

Safe Families For Children

This organization was recommended to a woman going through a crisis as she is attempting to escape domestic violence by moving to another state. She is currently homeless with a 4 year old child. She worries they will become a target for Child Protective Services. A bit of her story –

A family friend had said that we would have a place to stay but when we got there, they said we couldn’t stay because my son was “too noisy.” He has autism spectrum disorder and is vocally pretty loud. We slept in our car the first couple of nights and then started camping. I tried to make it a fun summer adventure at first but recently we have started to get run out of campgrounds, even though we haven’t overstayed our allowed time. We are assumed to be homeless (which we are, but I don’t go around announcing it). I just found a job and someone willing to watch my son during work. It is all so overwhelming. I haven’t started yet but I can’t even figure out how to get work clothes, gas, even the fingerprints process done – all while living in my car with my little guy. I’m afraid I’ll end up losing the opportunity to work but actually my biggest fear is having my son taken away.

NOTE – Walking away takes a tremendous amount of courage. Taking your child with you to safety shows integrity and good parenting.

Some advice – look for “Women’s Shelters,” “domestic abuse shelters” and organizations that provide shelters specifically for mothers with children. They can give you an address that would satisfy an employer. There is a LINK> National Domestic Violence Hotline. Another suggestion was the LINK> Bridge of Hope program, which serves families without discrimination, extending compassion and grace without judgement to families facing homelessness. Bridge of Hope has no faith or church attendance requirement or expectations.

LINK> Safe Families For Children is an organization that serve families in crisis. Basically prescreened families host kids for a short term in order to keep them out of the foster care system. Safe Families For Children serves families who lack social networks and live in isolation without support of family and friends who are dealing with crises such as homelessness, unemployment, child abuse, domestic violence, medical emergencies and alcohol/drug rehabilitation.

It Just Isn’t True

We really should congratulate people who have enough self-awareness to make an intentional choice not to have children.

A woman posted in a Facebook group that she is indifferent whether she and her husband ever have kids but she is feeling pressure by family (this is not all that uncommon). Someone in the group advised her to foster so she can “try parenting out and see if she likes it”.  It saddens me that foster kids and adoptees could ever be considered a parenting experiment or an afterthought.

The world actually has enough people.  It is time for society to move away from the idea that a married couple must have kids.  It is an outmoded idea that has been instilled for generations.  It is time to rethink that.

How many children does the human race really need to keep humanity going.  How many are sustainable ?  Isn’t it better that every child is wanted, loved and financially supported ?  Truth is every woman does not have to give birth to children.  As in life, parenting people come in all shapes and sizes.

Some people have children because that’s what they’ve been told they are supposed to do.  This needs to change beginning with the current generation of parents.

Some people have children because they had unprotected sex (and protected sex isn’t 100% effective either) and find themselves having conceived a child.  Okay, so it does happen.  Let us then consider it as something to deal with – whether by elimination or by supporting the woman in a crisis pregnancy to keep and raise her child.  It is the woman’s body and what she does about this situation should always be a decision to be made between her and her doctor.  This is a bottom line value for my own self.  If she does want to raise her child, then society needs to accept that for the well-being of the child, financial resources should be generously supplied – one way or another.

Some people have children because they truly want to be parents. You could say that this yearning is a real need for these kinds of people.  If they can conceive, they are on their way.  Medical science is also able to make miracles happen.  If it is a true desire, then by all means, have children.

Some people do not want children.  Do not harass them about what is honestly their personal decision to make.

There are plenty of other variations, I’m sure there are, that I haven’t thought of in today’s rush.  There is nothing selfish about any of these scenarios. Selfish people can and do have children all the time.

I would hope that no matter your reason for having a child – educate yourself going in, so that you can be a good and decent parent, one who loves their child and doesn’t see them as an unwanted burden or interference with whatever else you would rather be doing.

And is happening to me too often these days, short on time – and so a short one for today.