Tag: Summer Camp

The Adopted Trilogy

Meggan Larson’s 3rd book is anticipated but not yet available.

Meggan’s story about Olivia Jackson is somewhat her own story – adopted by loving white parents as a baby, the half-Black teen thrives but yearns to belong. I know this from a blog on Meggan’s website – LINK>Half & Half But Never Whole.

In her blog, she writes – When I was ten years old I attended a summer camp at a new school. The very first day I became friends with a few girls; most of them were white and another was black. I was thrilled to make new friends on my first day and I remember going back the next day full of excitement. 

I ran up to my group of friends and failed to notice the changed vibe. The leader of the group turned to me and said: “We’ve decided that we can only have one black girl in our group.” 

I stood there confused because I didn’t understand. I was half black and I lived with a white family. Surely she wasn’t talking about me? She went on… “We chose her.” 

She pointed to the other black girl who was looking down at the ground and then they all turned their backs to me and kept talking amongst themselves. I walked away slowly, shrugged my shoulders as though it didn’t bother me, and swallowed it down because at the time the only way to process that kind of pain was simply not to. I didn’t make other friends at that camp and frankly I struggled to make any friends at all from that point on.

The memory of that experience came up recently during a powerful session and I sobbed for that little girl whose heart was shattered. My daughter is the same age I was then and that fact broke me even more because I couldn’t imagine her going through something so awful simply because of the color of her skin. 

You can read the rest of that blog at the link above. So, now on to her 2 books of the 3 she plans for her trilogy. Some details from Amazon’s page – LINK>The Adopted Trilogy (because I own a Kindle, the site comes up there, therefore my link, but there are hardcover and paperback editions of her books available at Amazon).

There’s a piece missing from her life. Will a teenager’s road trip in search of her biological mother bring her the healing she craves? Book #1 Adopted is the emotional first book in the Adopted YA coming-of-age trilogy. If you like relatable heroines, shocking revelations, and learning to trust, then you’ll love Meggan Larson’s courageous drive to enlightenment.

Book #2 Fractured picks up after Oliva meets her biological mother. That meeting had left her with more questions. Desperate to find a place she belongs, in book two, she sets out to find her birth father. She is convinced that she will be the one to save him from a life in and out of prison. When tragedy strikes, Olivia must decide what’s worth fighting for, and what – or who (her boyfriend, Lucas?), will be left behind.

(blogger’s note – that is NOT a spoiler, just my guess about the “who”, since I haven’t read her books yet.)

Meggan Larson is an award winning author (best selling on Amazon), course creator, wife, mom, and adoptee. She currently lives in Ottawa Canada with her husband and three children. She helps women tell their beautiful, powerful, and authentic stories. Connect with her over at her website, LINK>meggan LARSON – “Come Fly With Me”.

Making Friends

Today’s adoption related story –

My 10 yr old daughter (adopted last year from foster care, who has been with us for 2 years) just came home from her first time at church camp today and has been very emotional about all of the “best friends” she made that she will “never see again” (they’re from all over about a 300 mile radius and there’s a chance they’ll see each other at camp again next year but no guarantees). She tends to deem kids her “best friends” VERY quickly and then gets very upset when/if something goes wrong in the relationship or they move away or something. As I was reflecting on the situation tonight it struck me that this could very well be related to her trauma from being removed from her birth mom and being in multiple foster homes—anytime someone “leaves” her, she is devastated…which makes sense given her history.

Some thoughts –

My 14 year old went to a 3 day day camp and it took her two days to get out of the funk of never seeing these kids again.

From what I have been reading regarding trauma and it’s effects on future relationships, that sounds exactly what it is. To which someone else affirmed – Yep. Trauma response. Someone else suggested “family therapy.” Also an adoption competent therapist and/or trauma informed. Trauma impacts brain development and in many ways she might still be developing some skills that other 10 year olds are expected to have. Speech therapy is actually super helpful for working on these skills.

Another person noted – It is very common for kids to say this after an intense camp experience and for her it is tied up with her trauma too. It isn’t either/or. This is yes/and.

And this thought – Being sad you may not see your new friends again is normal. Strongly attaching in a short period of time and being completely devastated when the time ends, is not. This behavior may escalate once she reaches her teens and starts dating. Feeling like you have to do anything possible to keep from losing someone puts one in some pretty terrible situations.

Another adds – the dating part sounds so close to what I did as a teen. I had the hardest time leaving relationships, even if they were abusive. I was so afraid to be alone.

Yet another example – this can happen with changing grades/saying goodbye to teachers and friends as well. We talk a lot about how just because someone’s gone, it doesn’t mean they’re not connected to you; same with when someone dies.

There was also this wise perspective – The children we are parenting have always had bigger and more intense responses to these types of situations than their peers, which we recognize as a response to their big grief and loss. And yes, we’ve had amazing therapists and their responses are more typical now, much of the time, but not always and the trauma will always be with them. And we know to validate this sadness, grief, loss, etc. and validate all the people/situations they may be missing and sad about.