Follow The Money

How did the effort to find homes for orphans who no family would claim or street urchins who did a bit of mischief turn into an industry motivated by profits ?  Just follow the money.

In 1916, adoption was so uncommon, children were placed in “foster” homes where they were expected to “work” in return for their keep.

Before that, throughout history, babies were routinely murdered at birth by their parents. Infanticide was practiced and condoned even in ancient Greece, endorsed by Aristotle and Plato.

It is grim. Sickly, disabled or female infants were suffocated, drowned or dashed against rocks. More often unwanted children were “exposed”, abandoned in marketplaces or on hillsides. Most died of starvation, others were forced into slavery or maimed for exhibition.

When my oldest son was an infant, I became aware of this song as performed by Peter, Paul and Mary – it is grim.

Hush-a-bye, don’t you cry
Go to sleepy, little baby
When you wake you shall have
All the pretty little horses
Way down yonder in the meadow
Lies a poor little lambie
Bees and butterflies, picking out its eyes
Poor little thing’s crying, “Mami”
Hush-a-bye, don’t you cry
Go to sleepy, little baby

Poverty was so pervasive and contraceptive methods so ineffective that the killing of children continued. Infanticide was the most common crime in Western Europe between the Middle Ages and the 18th century.

The first orphanage in the US was established by Ursuline nuns in 1727 but such institutions were rare. People were reluctant to support homeless children financially.

When adoption became a profitable business, there was an improvement for many of the most unfortunate children.  Then, exploitation of women who would have rather raised their children became a profitable enterprise.  After that, corruption set in.

A Never Ending Sorrow

Adoption is trumpeted today as a universal good thing. For infertile couples who wish to have a family, it is a solution. For religious organizations and fellow-travelers, agencies that use the mantle of religion – it is STILL a BUSINESS.

What is rarely talked about is the long-term mental and physical effect of surrendering a baby to others for adoption.

One expects short-term grief.

What of the long-term lasting impact – 4, 25 years later ?

We go on, have lives and live a code of silence with a toxic aftermath continuing.

Mothers compelled to search for their children are prone to lowered self-esteem, anxiety and worry about the child, required more doctor visits and attributed their physical and mental problems over the years to the adoption.

Many had parental pressure to surrender their child to adoption.

They had little or no emotional support during the pregnancy and relinquishment.

There were few or no opportunities to talk about their feelings related to the surrender and there was a lack of social support for their depression.

We should care more about mothers and their children as a society.