My Daughter Mini Me

What happens when a young daughter doesn’t have a mother for a role model ?  Here I am not speaking of an alternative mother but the natural mother.  I think about this because both of my original grandmothers lost their own mothers at a young age, during their childhood.

There is a wide range of mother-daughter relationships.  Some are not happy ones but I doubt any daughter would say her mother was not at all influential, even if the influence was a contrast telling her own self how she did not want to be.

If a daughter is fortunate, she will have a mother who is a blessing and who will be forever missed once she is no longer physically incarnated.  Some of my friends had those kinds of mothers.

It may be that my relationship with my own mother was not all that unusual.  We had a complex relationship.  I did love her dearly.  I remember sitting in the kitchen on the deep freeze while she cooked dinner, chattering away.  I don’t know if she really listened or not but I appreciated having her captive.  I get a similar treatment sometimes these days from my sons.  Sometimes I was frustrated with my own mother.  Sometimes I didn’t like her perspectives.  Sometimes I was unkind or unreasonable in my expectations of her.

Girls learn a lot about being a woman from their “mother” and that is true even if their “mother” is an alternative one to the original mother.

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