There is a game similar to Candyland that I became abundantly aware of as I expanded my own understandings about the impacts of adoption.
There is an overly romanticized and idealistic love affair going on with adoption that brings to mind unicorns, rainbows and puffy hearts. In Adoptionland, clouds are made of spun sugar and the roads are lined with red licorice – nothing bad every happens in Adoptionland. All of the adopted children feel nothing but gratitude and their only goal in life is to make adoptive parents dreams come true.
The truth is that is marketing bunk. Follow the money applies here as it does in many other situations. The goal of the game is to take a newborn baby from its mother and give it to complete strangers who have enough money to pay for the baby. The game has been so entrenched that this selling and buying of babies has been legalized and hidden as fees, etc.
For many adoptees, adoption is an extremely complicated experience rife with confusion and mystery – mostly because the adoption industry doesn’t respect adoptees nor seek to serve their needs.
It may seem unbelievable but there really are people out there fighting against the restoration of an adoptee’s right to obtain her own, factual, birth certificate.
There are adoptive parents who relegate the original parents of the child they are so privileged to be raising into the role of “birth parent” only – like their only role in the life of their child was to give birth to that child – so they could adopt it. Much like a surrogate mother in some reproductive situations.
Some adoption agencies charge higher fees for white newborn babies but much less for black infants. There are states who work to make open adoptions unenforceable.
All of these unbelievable but true aspects of adoption are totally acceptable with most of the people in our adoption-focused culture. One has to intentionally seek to inform themselves to begin to understand the truth.