A child that has been told he is “special”
will feel that he has to be perfect
in order to retain the love and acceptance
of his adoptive parents.
Whether or not the adoptive parents exert any pressure,
the child may feel a need to live up to unattainable expectations.
Unable to do so, the child may feel inadequate and worthless.
~ The Primal Wound by Nancy Newton Verrier
Sadly, some of those children will end up in need of adoption a second time. It is easy to understand how deeply disrupted this will be for their lives. Such an experience could leave the child with lifelong doubts about their worth.
To be separated from one’s original mother is always traumatic. But an adoption dissolution carries a significant risk of additional trauma to the child.
Such a child is at high risk for forming insecure attachments and will have difficulty trusting adult caregivers. May have difficulty maintaining any caring relationship once they are mature.
Is it any wonder ?