Imagine the circumstances in your young world are such that adequate care and love from your parents doesn’t support you as every one of us would wish for our own self.

A question came up in relationship to foster care where the foster parent was introducing a foster child as that aspect of their identity.  ie  my new foster child Dylan or foster child Caroline.  When people do that it shows just how little they are able to actually empathize with the experience of the child in their care.  That is a terrifying situation to place a child in.

This feels immediately demeaning to me personally.  It highlights a tragic circumstance as the first impression of this child to a neighbor or even a complete stranger.

Why not say something like this is Jake and he is going to be staying with us for a bit ?  Why do people have to disclose a kid is in foster care ?  Actually, simply saying the child’s name is better.  No one needs to know you foster.  The people who don’t know as part of the process, certainly don’t need to know.

This same unthinkable behavior can be extended to include an adopted child – why do people say this is my adopted son or daughter ?

After all, no one announces “this is Suzy my biological child”.  Just simply introduce the child by their name.  No need to add details related to the child’s most difficult circumstances.  Life is hard enough without piling on.

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